The Subtleties of the Supernatural

I made a mistake. I messed up.

I didn’t realize it at first, but then I did. And then I had to do what so often feels worse than making the error itself, I had to sit with it.

This is usually when the tsunami of self judgement and criticism come rushing in. Like a scene out of ‘A Christmas Tale’, in the late hours of night I am visited by the Spirit of Mistakes Past which takes me on a haunting, detailed tour of numerous other times I’ve missed the mark. I wake up from that fitful sleep ordained a failure and wear its heavy crown for days on end.

That is what usually happens. Yet in this recent ‘oops’ I noticed there was regret but no harsh commentary from my inner critics. There was no pulling out the bulging file of past failures, and I didn’t trudge through the day  weighted down with shame. There was disappointment, but no drama.

This, for me, is a miracle.

I’ve heard a miracle described as “a change in perception”. What I love about this definition is that it speaks to the simple, world-altering experience of seeing things differently. In my recent experience of  perceived failure (notice I now say ‘perceived’) I got to see that my error was an invitation to growth and evolution, not a sentence to guilt and condemnation.With this holy awareness I forgave and wrapped myself in compassion instead of contempt- again confirming the stealth-like nature of miracles.

I grew up sitting criss-cross applesauce on many a Sunday school carpet. I love hearing about the grand, miraculous moments of the parting of the Red Sea and the crumbling walls of Jericho. For a long time I expected all Divine interventions to happen for me in the same way. Unless its re-enactment required pyrotechnics and a stunt-double, I didn’t consider it a miracle.

But in reality I have experienced many miracles, too many to count. I often can’t see them. The subtlety of the supernatural throws me off its scent. While I am busy looking for fireworks, I am being offered healing and freedom.

Noticed or not, a miracle is still miraculous. I like to think my God is in the  business of miracles for the love of the work, not the praise. Of course I give thanks on the regular, yet my gratitude could never keep up with the outpour of Good. One of my favorite sayings is, “You shall find what you seek.” If you’ve been hoping and praying for a miracle, maybe it’s already arrived. I invite you to look for your miracles in the less obvious, peculiar corners of your everyday life. That’s where the magic tends to happen.


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